SuperYenta

SuperYenta Featured in Entrepreneurism Article

Many thanks to Yahoo HotJobs for including SuperYenta in today's Entrepreneurism feature, located here.

The Rewards of Entrepreneurship

3 Success Stories

by Maria Hanson, LiveCareer.com

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Who are the people behind the nation's 27 million small businesses? They're as varied as the enterprises they start, with different strengths, backgrounds, and reasons for pursuing their entrepreneurial dreams.

Here's a look at three successful, very happy entrepreneurs and what makes them tick.

Jacquie Steiner, owner of Moveable Feast in-home cooking service, started preparing meals for her family when she was only 9 years old, after her mother developed a long-term health problem. "I loved it from the start," she says. "I could make food that brought my family together, helped my mom, and made people feel happy."

Cooking for others continued to be a passion for Steiner throughout her career as an event coordinator. Last year, when she lost her job because of the recession, she decided to turn her passion into her profession. She founded Moveable Feast, and now prepares meals in the homes of clients all over the Western U.S. Some are just too busy to cook, but want the nurturing nourishment of meals home-cooked to order. Others have health issues that prevent them from cooking.

"It's so gratifying to cook for other people. Food is more than mere sustenance. It's soul. It's love," she says.

Robin Baggett, owner of Alpha-Omega Winery in Napa Valley, wasn't always a wine connoisseur. In college, Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill was his wine of choice. But as he grew his law practice over the years, his tastes in wine became more refined. When he saw an opportunity to enter the wine business, he jumped in, with strong financial motivation: Profit was his main motive.

The move paid off, with his most recent winery venture seeing a 40 percent increase in sales since last year, and winning raves from the critics. Baggett attributes much of the winery's success to something that comes naturally for him: Being a people person. "To be successful in business, it's about people. I'm a big believer in the team concept," says the life-long athlete. "I'm very proud of the staff I've been able to put together. They're key to our success."

Shira Levine, owner of SuperYenta matchmaking and dating coaching, knows first-hand the benefits of a good fix-up. Her own parents met through one, as did she and her husband. When she's not trying to coordinate matches among her hundreds of friends and acquaintances, Levine doles out sage dating advice for a small fee.

"SuperYenta is my calling," says Levine. "Many people need to talk to an objective person who isn't family or friend. It's a huge relief for them to get good, non-judgmental advice on this journey," she says. One of her more popular services is editing online dating profiles. ("I always edit out the romantic walks on the beach," she says.) The more people she makes happy, the better. Her greatest joy: "I like to be able to give the speech at the wedding." 

Another Home Run for Rachel Greenwald

Regular readers know your SuperYenta thinks Rachel Greenwald is the best author about dating working today; she’s smart, doesn’t treat you like a retard, gives you the benefit of the doubt, and is on your side. Rachel’s first book, Find a Husband After 35 is my most recommended dating book—for both men and women.

 

Well, folks, she’s done it again. Rachel’s new book, Why He Didn’t Call You Back, is another intelligent, meaningful, uplifting (and funny) book on how to get dating right in the early stages. The book’s basic thesis is there are ten most common things women do on first and second dates that cause men not to call them back. The premise being that we all have dates we think are great and wait around for the phone to ring again and why didn’t he call me back?!!

 

These Top Ten are broken down into easily digestible episodes with catchy names, how to spot yourself in each pitfall, and what to do about it. No matter your dating history, I guarantee you’ll find yourself in at least one of the types. Are you a Blah? A Boss Lady? A Bitch in Boots? (I know, I know, some days, we’re a little of all of them)

 

Unlike some other (insulting) dating books, this book does not tell you to change yourself or put you in a position to feel uncomfortably not you on a date. It does give useful, actionable suggestions for accentuating certain attractive qualities about yourself and holding back on the skeletons in the closet stuff, like being obsessed with Diet Dr. Pepper or having unbendable rules about how you plan to raise the kids you don’t yet have.

 

Whatever type reflects you, Rachel’s humorous, endearing examples in each section offer gentle and realistic suggestions on how to keep the sharp edges and kooky revelations to yourselves until the time is right in a relationship…or at least until the third date.

 

Rachel uncovered the types by conducting over 1000 Exit Interviews with women’s former dates. The process was rigorous, analytical, and helpfully revelatory. It is also a new service offered by your SuperYenta. For more information, click here.

 

So where did the SuperYenta see herself? Oh my, in almost every type. After every chapter, I asked Mr. SuperYenta, “Was I a Psychobabbler? A Revealer?” But where I really saw myself was in the Sadie Hawkins. I followed up with men I was interested in before their car even drove away. It took me years to stop this bordering on stalker behavior. I was relieved to see I wasn’t alone: I was part of a sisterhood of this mistake! Here’s a key takeaway for my Sadie sisters out there: DO NOT TEXT men you like before the third date, EVER. Thank god texting wasn’t de rigueur when I was dating!

 

One small caveat to SuperYenta clients: I employ rules about first dates that are not part of Rachel’s research or book. Nonetheless, the dating information in Rachel’s book is so useful that I will recommend Why He Didn’t Call You Back along with Find a Husband to all my clients from here on out.

 

But enough about me; let’s talk about you getting a copy of Why He Didn’t Call You Back. To order yours, click here.

Why VH1’s Tough Love is Worth Watching

The SuperYenta tips her super-sized cup of love to Drew Barrymore and the creators of VH1’s new reality show, Tough Love. The first episode aired this week and you can watch the whole thing online (great marketing move, by the way….I’m hooked).

The basic premise is a reform the participants reality show. Nobody gets voted off, thank goodness. They’ve selected eight women who each represent a single female Los Angeles archetype and show them, well, tough love from a dating coach, to get them in decent dating shape. Professinoally speaking, it depicts the work of a dating coach as it is: direct, firm, and loving.

In the first episode, there are such juicy tidbits as “blind” first impression feedback from a group of red-blooded men, the ubiquitous makeover plotline, and a brutal catfight. But this ain’t no Flavor of Love cat fight, we really care about each of these women and Steve Ward’s ability to turn them into lovable, datable, marryable women. Oh, how we judge and don’t like to be judged in return! Oh, how painful direct feedback can be! The mascara flows, the truths come out, the snorting retorts are hurled, and nobody really gets hurt.

Act more mature! Act like a woman! Check out Tough Love.

Personals call and response: be careful out there

Your SuperYenta isn't in the frequent habit of reposting blogged content, but this one's too much of a gem to leave alone in webland.

My only response is: girl, get a SuperYenta. Don't even get a SuperYenta; get a Yenta, a friend, a family member, or anyone else who will give you a much needed reality check. And for crying out loud, no more drunken posting on Craigslist!

As you know, both women and men receive equal doses of love from the SuperYenta. Note to Suit Daddy of Doom: Look around at your next Wall Street charity function and you'll see the 40+ women look better, happier, and more content than their Forever 21-clad counterparts. Two words: Michelle Obama.

SY

Link to this post: http://katieschwartz.blogspot.com/2007/10/ny-craigslist-personal-ad-and-response.html

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25-year-old shameless diva seeks money-money-money

What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:-

• Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms -
• What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings-
• Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)? -
• Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?-
• Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?-
• How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

Suit Daddy of Doom's Answer

Dear Pers:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal.

Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!

Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that.

So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

New Year’s Online Dating Resolutions

 

It’s a new year, and a great time to take stock in your online dating profile. Your SuperYenta will gladly share the top five most frequent mistakes she sees to help you use 21^st Century tools to find your beshert. Before you read on, please open your mind and your online dating profile and commit to making changes (for the better) for the new year.

 

1. Remove all negative and underhanded references to what went wrong in your last relationship. No matter how sly, if you’ve got a laundry list of the things that didn’t work last time, it will show in your profile….it will read like a vendetta. For example, this should not appear in your profile: “If you’re so backward that you don’t know how to chew with your mouth closed, do not reply to my ad.” This should appear in your profile: “Please be well-mannered and gentlemanly. I love to be impressed by good manners!”
2. Never, ever use this phrase: I am as comfortable in jeans as in a tux. Don’t be swayed into this boring and tired catch phrase just because everyone else uses it! Are you so over dating that you can’t come up with something slightly more creative to indicate you have diverse interests and styles? If you are not, contact your SuperYenta! As a bonus, I’ll throw in another phrase to avoid: I like romantic walks on the beach. Who doesn’t?  Including this in your profile makes you sound repetitive and desperate for the feeling one gets on a romantic walk. Your SuperYenta wants you to come up with something that actually represents how you spend your time. If you like to go antiquing, play Guitar Hero, or people watch at airports, be honest about it.
3. Remember the law of numbers: Resolve to “go shopping” for at least three new people to contact each week, and contact them. Do not poke them, or “flirt” with them. Send each one actual messages pulling a factoid from their profile into your email, such as, “I’m glad you mentioned Scrabble because over the holidays, I played Scrabble with my 96-year old Aunt Edna for three nights straight.” Some schlemiels will never reply (those who do not reply do not deserve to meet you anyway), some will. 
4. Reply to everyone who contacts you. Even if they are three-eyed trolls, even if you are not interested, the most appropriate way to participate in online dating is to reply to everyone who contacts you. Remember that someone contacting you may have just read my “law of numbers” resolution up above. The flipside of this resolution is this: if the wrong person keeps contacting you (for example, if you are 40 and a 27-year old is flirting with you through chat), politely extricate yourself and cut off all contact, no matter how scintillating, and never contact them again. Is a 27-year old ready to marry you? Not likely.

5. Do not lose faith. Online dating is your way to stay flexible and limber in what for some is a quagmire and for some is a ball. Be loud and proud! And if you get discouraged, simply contact your SuperYenta for a pep talk.

 

Now get out there and update your profile!

SuperYenta

 

More lessons from Kabbalah, and Goop.com

This column comes courtesy of Goop.com’s search for enlightenment. Michael Berg’s response resonates for those without partners: are you making judgments about potential partners based on some of your bad or old limitations? If so, read on:

 

Goop.com: I have a friend who sees the world in a pessimistic light. This person is highly suspicious of people and situations, and sees, as well as experiences negativity at most turns. Why is this and what does it mean? What can be done to help someone of this nature?

 

Michael Berg: What we see is who we are.

When we are in a good place, we see goodness all around us. When we are in a bad place, we see darkness. We might think we’re picking up these flaws in others because we are smarter or better. But the deeper truth is our judgments are merely an indication of where we are at spiritually.

Kabbalah teaches that within everything in this world can be found good and bad aspects. We choose – consciously or unconsciously – which part we wish to see. That choice is a reflection of who we are.

When we meet someone for the first time, we can focus on their positive or negative qualities. The direction we go in is a choice we are making. The same goes for new situations. Obviously there are times we need to discern the pros and cons of people or situations because it affects our well-being. That’s part of life. But most of the time when we judge it is not out of necessity to make a decision, it is simply because our negativity causes us to see negativity in others.

In addition to indicating where we are at, there is an exchange of energy when we judge someone. Kabbalah explains that focusing on someone’s negativity actually brings that energy into our lives! Certainly, no one wants to consciously bring negativity into our lives, which is the whole concept; we are unaware.

This week, the lesson for us is twofold. First, be aware of this concept: what I see is where I am at. Develop within yourself the proactive ability to focus only on the good in people or situations. Second, know that by seeking out the positive in others and in all aspects of life, you are awakening – and strengthening – that goodness inside of you.

Michael Berg is Co-Director of the Kabbalah Centre

Dow Got You Down? Go on a Date!

From the SuperYenta newswire.....
(www.marketingvox.com)

Depressed Dow Drives Americans into Arms of Online Dating

Drink up

A handful of online dating sites are reporting activity spikes following September's global financial crisis.

"On days when the US Dow Jones industrial went down […] by more than 100 points, more people were likely to log in and spend more time on the site," stated Senior Research Scientist Gian Gonzaga in an interview with Reuters.

"People seek out companionship in times of stress. Studies repeatedly show that being in a relationship can help a person's psychological and physical health."

CEO Thomas Enraght-Moony of Match.com corroborates Gonzaga's view. "During these trying times, people are looking for hope in their inbox," he said.

November brought Match.com its largest membership increase in the last seven years.

But even lesser-known dating sites, like Perfectmatch.com, are seeing bounty. The latter reported a 47% hike in membership in the three months to November compared to the previous quarter.

An Opinion Research Corp. poll, sponsored by eHarmony, found 57% of Americans worry more about their love lives amidst the credit crunch. Married men were most affected, with 63% stressed over love.

And 75% of poll-takers between 25 and 34 worried whether the economy would negatively impact their love lives. Younger, single respondents were more likely to pursue a relationship as a result of these concerns.

Older respondents, which were more likely to be married, still worried financial issues would harm their existing relationships. "There are often more fights over bills and household budgets" among couples in climates like this one, Gonzaga pointed out.

The Opinion/eHarmony poll comprised 1,092 users. Meanwhile, a survey by Avalanche LLC — which operates date.com, matchmaker.com and amor.com — found 84% of people are spending more time online or over the phone before meeting face-to-face.

With all that in mind, it bodes well for the online dating industry that the Dow is down 35% this year.

Online dating services became aggressive advertisers in '07, with eHarmony spending the most: $110.1 million in total as of February last year. Match.com followed, spending $66.4 million in total.

Their efforts weren't wasted. Prior to 2008, Mediamark Research found US adults were increasingly receptive to online dating, which was previously stigmatized as an arena for the desperate and unloveable. Men were slightly more likely to log onto an online dating site (52.2% versus 47.8%), and people between 18-34 consisted of over half of the online dating population. Single parents were significantly more likely than average to pursue a 'net-based romance.

The face of online dating in general has evolved since then. Online speed dating debuted late last year. And last month, online dating conglomerate eHarmony lost a three-year-old suit for refusing to match gays, lesbians and bisexuals. The company will launch a gay dating site, "Compatible Partners," in early 2009.

The List appears in NYTimes Vows

Regular readers know that your SuperYenta is a devotee of The New York Times Vows column. And the thing is, those of us in the love everlasting business all appreciate each others' work. So on November 9, I was delighted to see the groom-of-the-day, Tim Hayes, refer to his "list." You see? If the Times  can tout the list, you know its gotta be worthwhile.

Vows

Elise Gutfeld and Tim Hayes

By MARCELLE S. FISCHLER

Published: November 7, 2008

THE first time Elise Gutfeld rode on a horse, at age 3, she found bliss. During family vacations in the Catskills, she insisted on taking trail rides. By the third grade she was hooked on “Black Stallion” books.

At 13, she told her parents that if she had to go to sleep-away camp, it needed to involve horseback riding.

“I wanted to be with them, ride them, draw them, live them,” she said, dreaming of becoming a jockey, until at 5-foot-7, she realized she was too tall.

As a teenager, her priorities changed. She was a prom queen at Dwight Morrow High School in Englewood, N.J., lettered in tennis and softball, and headed to Columbia University. She now telecommutes as a vice president and the senior technology manager for Bank of America.

Five years ago, when her older daughter, Ma’ayan Stein, asked for riding lessons, Ms. Gutfeld started riding again. When her instructor died, she dropped the lessons. Then, divorced for four years, she concentrated instead on finding someone special.

Last year, Ms. Gutfeld, 45, of Fort Lee, N.J., had been Internet dating for a few months when she received a message from Tim Hayes.

His screen name was Happy Trails. Fourteen years earlier, in the wake of a divorce, he had given up a slick go-getter Manhattan-based career producing and writing television commercials and relocated to East Hampton, N.Y., to work as a horse whisperer, teaching natural horsemanship, a tender method of training and riding horses.

After a few e-mail exchanges, Mr. Hayes, 63, asked for her phone number. She demurred, having had a few bad experiences with online dating, but asked for his. When she called two days later, she got his voicemail.

“I am either on the phone on in the barn,” the message said. Ms. Gutfeld said she remembered thinking, “This is it: this is my cowboy.”

His callback lasted two hours. She offered to drive to the Hamptons to meet him and his 19-year-old horse, Austin.

Mr. Hayes’s son, Dr. Rick Hayes, 45, a cardiologist at New York University Hospital, said, “there weren’t any red flags” for his father to say no to this Internet date.

But shortly before their first date, Mr. Hayes was kicked in the mouth while giving a riding lesson. A front tooth was knocked out, and there was no time for a dentist to make a temporary.

Still, he escorted Ms. Gutfeld to a friend’s barbecue, an art gallery in Southampton and for ice cream. He knew she was “a keeper,” he said, when she kissed him — between licks of cookies and cream — “even though I was missing my front tooth.”

The next weekend, watching him sweet talk Austin and ride without a saddle, Ms. Gutfeld was “overflowing with feeling” at how gentle he was with the horse.

He invited Ms. Gutfeld’s daughters, Anna Stein, 10, and Ma’ayan, 14, for a trail ride at Deep Hollow Ranch in Montauk. “I could see what a good father he would make,” Ms. Gutfeld said, realizing “that his way with horses translated perfectly to his way with people and relationships.”

They learned that besides the horses, they also shared a love of family, children and movies. One of the problems Mr. Hayes had encountered with prospective partners, he said, was that “there were things I wanted to change about them.”

With Ms. Gutfeld, he said, he “didn’t want to fix or change anything.”

Even though she calls herself a perfectionist, she said, “I could let my hair down and make mistakes and he would love me anyway.”

She personified every adjective on “the list,” which, he said, included being trustworthy, predictable, cheerful, appreciative, emotionally nurturing, sexy and romantic.

“It was the most comfortable, easiest and intimate relationship I had ever had,” he added.

Carl Bernstein, the investigative journalist, described Mr. Hayes, his longtime friend, as someone who “follows his instincts.”

So last April, when Ms. Gutfeld arrived in East Hampton for the weekend, Mr. Hayes told her that earlier that day he had seen seals on the beach. Despite her grumblings about having work, he insisted on going to the beach. There were no seals; it was a pretense. He dropped to a knee on the sand, pulled a ring from his pocket and proposed.

They were hitched Oct. 4 before 50 family members and friends. The Rev. Christopher Stamp, a minister of the Sanctuary of the Beloved, officiated at the SoHo loft of Nicholas Grabar and Jennifer Sage, a cousin of Mr. Hayes.

During a reception that included cheeseburger sliders and mini red velvet cupcakes, Mr. Hayes swooped Ms. Gutfeld into his arms and asked her to dance.

Having found his own bliss, he turned to the crowd and said, “It’s about falling in love with someone who makes you feel like home.” And then they swayed on the dance floor.

A version of this article appeared in print on November 9, 2008, on page ST15 of the New York edition.

Listening to Dad

Yesterday I was talking to a dad about his single 39 year old daughter. “One thing about her,” he said, “is that she’s happy. She’s happy being single. This is wonderful for her but I feel like she’s missing out, and she doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.” Boy, do I agree with that!

We can’t force our friends and family to make the better decisions that we made for ourselves, but wouldn’t it be great if we could? I empathized with his desire for his daughter to share his brand of happiness. As the SuperYenta always does, I listened with both ears until he’d poured his hopes for his daughter out. Like many of us, she had been badly burned in a relationship a long time ago. She swore of love then and kept her promise.

Stories like these make a SuperYenta’s heart melt. This woman may not be expressing a desire to be in a relationship or be married, but she sure could use a Super Yenta. Here’s what I would tell her: You can have a relationship on your terms. You can pick whom you want to be with. Just as you pick the perfect pair of shoes to match an outfit, you can decide exactly what you want and go for it. Do not let it come to you, do not be lazy. Make your list and go out there and find your man!

LiveJournal Tags: fathers,dads,dating,single,mensch,men,lists,lazy

Online dating profile redo: Ron

Ron is a divorced 59 year old man with a successful career and three grown children. Below is the rough draft of his online dating profile. The SuperYenta version is below. Good luck, Ron! You’ve been Yenta-fied!

About Me 

I am a warm, fun-loving, up-beat person: intelligent, ambitious, successful, very humorous, adventurous, articulate, high energy, compassionate, sensitive, physical, caring and social. I love being active and traveling. I enjoy going out and having a good time but am equally content staying home watching a movie and snuggling on the sofa. I am just as comfortable in a tux or jeans. A lot of my free time is spent outdoors, whether it's hiking, snow skiing or tennis. I have learned that life is too short to devote all of one's time to work and to sacrifice your personal life. I believe in living each day to the fullest and taking time out to appreciate the little things that are often taken for granted. I am an incurable romantic and refuse to take off my rose-colored glasses.

My ideal relationship:   

A great relationship requires commitment, compromise and a healthy dose of respect for each other. Mutual interests and aspirations are also very important, as well as a lot of laughter. When both partners recognize that the work involved to keep it strong is well worth it and when the good times and validation that you compliment each other outweigh the work. Basically, I want my significant other to be my best friend and the person with whom I look most forward to sharing everything.

My past relationships:   

A relationship requires a high degree of compatibility. I have learned that people for the most part do not change, and that it is futile and frustrating if you expect them to. Life is a roller coasted, not a merry-go-round, but the highs help you survive the lows. As long as 2 people are committed to each other, any obstacle can be overcome and you should never have to go to bed angry

I am looking for a:   

I would like to meet someone with whom I can be myself and we share common goals, dreams and values. There needs to be a physical attraction but the essence of the person is more important. I would like to meet a woman who needs to be romanced, cherished, adored, respected, spoiled and ravished...and wants to reciprocate.

My perfect first date:   

First dates are awkward but also exciting. Lets get together for a quiet dinner, talk and see what transpires. If its right, we'll both know it.

Notes: I applaud Ron’s willingness to be very specific about what he’s looking for and also for his sensitivity, openness and honesty. But even though Ron was saying he was a positive person, his profile read like a laundry list of what was wrong with his marriage. SuperYenta says: spin everything positively and a positive non-bitter person will find you!

Ron’s About Me section was thorough but omitted some things only learned in an interview. What’s more romantic than waterfalls? What woman wouldn’t love to stroll through old country lanes for a little antiquing? Women need to know these unique hobbies and passions. Regular readers will know that SuperYenta forbids the “tux and jeans” line. The challenge is to show you can go hi- or low-brow without saying it verbatim.

SuperYenta version:

About Me

Southern gentleman seeks lady love for romance and adventure. I am a warm, fun-loving and up-beat person with a successful career, who also believes life’s too short to work all the time. I try to live each day to the fullest and take time out to appreciate things that others often taken for granted: spending time with family, hiking, games of tennis, antique shopping, and movie nights. I love being active and traveling. I love waterfalls. I can balance being high energy and social with being compassionate and caring. I am an incurable romantic who is not afraid of being a gentleman. Frankly my dear, I *do* give a damn!

My ideal relationship:   

I want a best friend with whom I am excited to share everything. Great relationships require commitment, compromise, and healthy doses of respect and laughter. All relationships require an investment, but the good times, compliments, and love should outweigh the work. Life can sometimes be a roller coaster: I want someone who can roll with both the highs and the lows—and mainly remember the highs. Mutual interests and aspirations are a plus.

Notes: The original was too wordy and too much like a laundry list of what went wrong the last time. I pinched the roller coaster line from the past relationship section and put it in here. The sentiment was nice but in the wrong place. When people write, we often put the most important point at the end. I rearranged the original so that most important thing, that he wants to be excited, is front and center.

My past relationships:   

I have learned that I do not want to change anyone; I want someone for who they genuinely are. I don’t go to bed angry, I work it out until it’s finished. As long as there is a strong commitment, I believe any obstacle can be overcome.

Notes: The original was not positive enough. This section read like Ron slapped it together in a moment of bitterness. I turned up the love in this section and made it shorter. One big lesson per past failure is good enough for most people.

I am looking for a:   

I want to meet someone with whom I can be myself and we share our dreams and values. The essence of the person is her most important aspect. I want to meet a woman who wants to be romanced, cherished, adored, respected, and spoiled and who wants to romance, cherish, respect and spoil in return.

Notes: I made the language here stronger and took out the word reciprocate….too clinical, sexual, and just plain icky.

My perfect first date:   

Let’s go for a stroll outdoors. If we enjoy ourselves and there is chemistry, I know I will want to see you again soon.

Notes: All SuperYenta clients know that dinner as a first date is a sure-fire setup for disaster. Keep it short and during the day and costing no more than $15.