Hi dear reader,
SuperYenta regulars know I’m a huge fan of The Times’ Vows column. The weekly stories are little postcards from Marriageville, each with its own “how we got here” story.
I especially like how the columns mention making lists for your ideal mate as if it is – and should be – de rigueur. The SuperYenta always says, “Exactly!” or “Go on, girl!” when she reads this in a Sunday’s Vows.
This past Sunday was no exception. Nikki Johnson, a woman after my own heart, held out until she was 42 so that she could find a man who matched her, “handwritten compilation of the 50 or 60 traits and characteristics she wanted in a mate.” Now Nikki, you know the SuperYenta recommends starting with 50 and narrowing that list down to, say, seven or ten traits. But if you got all 60 in one guy, you’re a super star.
And I don’t care where you put your traits. Like Nikki, you can write them by hand and keep adding to them over time. You can keep a spreadsheet on your computer. You can put them on the back of a business card and put it in your wallet. Tattoo them on the inside of your arm, put them in a bottle and send them out to sea, add them to your email signature…..I don’t care as long as you make your list and publicize it.
When I say publicize, I mean tell everyone. Be able to rattle off your list to anyone who asks about your love life (which is everyone if you’re over 30 and single). They say, “Well, are you dating?” and you say, “I just haven’t found that special soulful, sophisticated, swing dancer who can sing yet.” (ß check it, that list is only four items long!). Your inquisitor just might answer back, “I know just the person for you!”*
Way to go, Nikki and Raymond Johnson. This SuperYenta thinks you’re super.