It’s a new year, and a great time to take stock in your online dating profile. Your SuperYenta will gladly share the top five most frequent mistakes she sees to help you use 21st Century tools to find your beshert. Before you read on, please open your mind and your online dating profile and commit to making changes (for the better) for the new year.
- Remove all negative and underhanded references to what went wrong in your last relationship. No matter how sly, if you’ve got a laundry list of the things that didn’t work last time, it will show in your profile….it will read like a vendetta. For example, this should not appear in your profile: “If you’re so backward that you don’t know how to chew with your mouth closed, do not reply to my ad.” This should appear in your profile: “Please be well-mannered and gentlemanly. I love to be impressed by good manners!”
- Never, ever use this phrase: I am as comfortable in jeans as in a tux. Don’t be swayed into this boring and tired catch phrase just because everyone else uses it! Are you so over dating that you can’t come up with something slightly more creative to indicate you have diverse interests and styles? If you are not, contact your SuperYenta! As a bonus, I’ll throw in another phrase to avoid: I like romantic walks on the beach. Who doesn’t? Including this in your profile makes you sound repetitive and desperate for the feeling one gets on a romantic walk. Your SuperYenta wants you to come up with something that actually represents how you spend your time. If you like to go antiquing, play Guitar Hero, or people watch at airports, be honest about it.
- Remember the law of numbers: Resolve to “go shopping” for at least three new people to contact each week, and contact them. Do not poke them, or “flirt” with them. Send each one actual messages pulling a factoid from their profile into your email, such as, “I’m glad you mentioned Scrabble because over the holidays, I played Scrabble with my 96-year old Aunt Edna for three nights straight.” Some schlemiels will never reply (those who do not reply do not deserve to meet you anyway), some will.
- Reply to everyone who contacts you. Even if they are three-eyed trolls, even if you are not interested, the most appropriate way to participate in online dating is to reply to everyone who contacts you. Remember that someone contacting you may have just read my “law of numbers” resolution up above. The flipside of this resolution is this: if the wrong person keeps contacting you (for example, if you are 40 and a 27-year old is flirting with you through chat), politely extricate yourself and cut off all contact, no matter how scintillating, and never contact them again. Is a 27-year old ready to marry you? Not likely.
- Do not lose faith. Online dating is your way to stay flexible and limber in what for some is a quagmire and for some is a ball. Be loud and proud! And if you get discouraged, simply contact your SuperYenta for a pep talk.
Now get out there and update your profile!
SuperYenta
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